


Not that kind of of phone call

by longhairshortfuse



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Innuendo, Insomnia, M/M, Science
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 10:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2770385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil can't sleep. Carlos has the answer. A bedtime story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Imprints

**Author's Note:**

> I have this headcanon that Cecil likes Carlos to talk to him but Carlos isn't one for idle chitchat, which makes phone calls difficult. Cecil asks Carlos to tell him stories about science just to hear him talk more.
> 
> If you like it, tell me and feel free to suggest scientific phenomena you think Carlos could use to, umm, _encourage_ Cecil to sleep. Science is never _boring,_ right?

Cecil was tired but far from sleep. His mind raced, vaulted from one worry to the next and back again at such a rate he couldn't focus on solving one issue at a time. He looked at the clock, three in the morning. Urgh. Objectively he knew the issues that were keeping him awake would look trivial in five or six hours, after sleep and coffee, but his mind wouldn't stop.  
He lay awake, thinking about how awful he was going to feel tomorrow because he wasn't getting any sleep. Today, technically. Carlos would have corrected him then cuddled him and made a barrier to keep the worries away. 

He picked up his phone, sighed and put it down again once he had established the lack of missed calls, dearth of voicemails, absence of meaningful text messages and nonexistence of reblogs of his latest khoshekh-and-his-kittens woodcarving. He rolled over and closed his eyes. Maybe if he pretended he was asleep he might fall asleep. He tried reciting lists, he was good at lists. Nothing worked. Cecil rolled around, unsure of whether he was too hot or too cold, checking the clock, his mind unable to settle on one thing. 

Cecil grabbed his phone when it buzzed, looked at the display and grinned.  
"Carlos! So glad you called, are you okay?"  
"I'm fine, Cecil, I'm a scientist! How are you? What time is it there?"  
Cecil heard a laugh from Carlos and his grin settled to a smile. He lay back with the phone clamped to his ear and closed his eyes.  
"It's three-twenty in the morning. I wasn't asleep, I can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning all night."  
"Oh, I'm sorry. Um, Cecil, is it cravings and dehydration again? I know you promised not to drink any more but..."  
"No! No, not that. I keep my promises to you. You said I shouldn't get drunk on my own with no-one to look after me, I promised not to drink again and I haven't. I've been tempted but I remembered that I made you a promise. I'm just awake, that's all."  
"I just don't want you to get hurt or sick with nobody there to help you. Am I nagging?"  
"Maybe a little. But it's okay. What have you been doing?" 

"Oh, you know, science."  
Cecil laughed at Carlos's standard answer.  
"Tell me about it. I want to know."  
Cecil relaxed as Carlos enthused for two minutes about measurements and tiny skeletons and a deep canyon with remains of an ancient civilisation and strange markings on the walls. He changed the subject abruptly.  
"Cecil? I went up to the lighthouse, you know where the red light that should blink doesn't blink any more. I went to look at the pictures to see if I could see you. And I did see you! You were at your desk in your studio. I think you were doing your show. You looked... you look tired Cecil."  
"I'm okay. I just don't sleep well, I lie awake worrying about things that I know won't matter in the morning but I can't stop it. Listening to you helps. Talk to me some more?"  
"It will get better, Cecil. What would you like me to talk about?"  
"I don't know. Anything. Tell me a story." 

Carlos was quiet for a moment.  
"Okay, a story. There was..."  
"Carlos? A _proper_ story."  
Carlos giggled.  
"Okay! _Once upon a time..._ "  
"Much better, thank you."  
"Once upon a time in the ocean there lived giant creatures..."  
"Sharks? Like Megalodon?"  
"Cecil, who is telling this story?"  
"So-orr-ree Carlos." 

"Once upon a time, millions of years ago, I think this desert was under water. There was a sea, an ocean here and the mountain with the lighthouse on top was an island. The only island for miles and miles. Creatures lived in the sea, small creatures with delicate bones because their bodies were supported by the pressure of the water around them, they had wing-like structures to help them propel themselves as if they were flying. Perhaps they did really fly, jump clean out of the ocean and flutter in the air for some reason I might find out one day. And there were huge creatures too with enormous bones... _this is not that kind of phone call, Jeez, Cecil! Get a grip..._

Carlos waited for Cecil to stop giggling before he continued, grinning and shaking his head.  
"So these creatures all lived in the same ocean. There were probably lots of other creatures too that didn't have bones or scales or teeth or any other hard parts... _I can hear you sniggering!_ that would be preserved easily as fossils but I have not found any sign of those yet. Okay, this whole ocean fauna survived here, there would have to have been plants too and fungi and all sorts of bacteria of course. But I have not found any sign of those yet either."  
Carlos smiled at the sound of Cecil's breathing, deeper and more regular. He kept going, just to make sure. 

"When the creatures died, they sank to the floor of the ocean and lay on the sea bed. Usually another hungry sea creature would eat the remains and use a death to prolong its own life. Or bacteria and fungi would quickly colonise it, use what minerals they could scavenge and break it back down into nitrates and phosphates and carbonates and carbon dioxide and organic compounds ready to sustain future life on the sea floor. But sometimes, not often, there was a disturbance, maybe the shaking and rumbling existed way back then too. The ocean sediments would get stirred up and the remains of the dead creature would be buried, out of reach of scavengers and cut off from the dissolved oxygen needed by decomposers like bacteria and fungi. 

"When that happened, the remains did not rot away or get eaten. Over time, more and more layers of sand and other sediments got piled up on top. The weight of these new layers squashed the remains down and distorted their shape. Soft parts like skin and muscle were destroyed but bones and teeth and beaks remained, their minerals gradually replaced with minerals from the sediments, slowly petrified. Imprints of feathers and scales stayed in the rocks formed from squashing the sediments. Cecil?"  
"Hnngh...?" 

"The climate changed for some reason. Maybe there was continental drift, I'll tell you a story about that later if you want. Perhaps the atmosphere changed. It can do that, you know, more plants leads to an atmosphere with more oxygen and less carbon dioxide because of photosynthesis and more animals means more carbon dioxide and less oxygen because of... oh I'll save that for later too. Or maybe there was a disaster like a comet or meteor strike but that's _really_ rare like one big one in every hundred million years and... yeah, later. Anyway, the climate changed and the ocean evaporated away leaving this vast, dry desert that used to be the ocean floor. I am sitting on sand that used to be saturated. Below me are layers and layers of ancient sediments that hold who knows how many different kinds of fossils."  
Carlos listened to Cecil snoring gently. He almost whispered into the phone.  
"I love you Cecil, and I do want to be home with you but there is _so much_ to discover here. I am afraid that this place is like Night Vale. If I leave I may never find a way back."  
Carlos listened to Cecil's deep, even breathing for a minute longer then hung up. 


	2. Speciation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cecil is having bad dreams. Carlos tells him another bedtime story.

Cecil grabbed his buzzing phone.  
"Hey, Hi, Carlos, Hi."  
"You okay, Cecil?"  
"I was asleep. Kinda. I was having a bad dream."  
"Again? Was it being chased by spiderwolves again?"  
"No, it was the phone dream. You know, the one where I need to call you but the phone numbers muddle up and I keep dialling the wrong number. It sounds silly now but I was really upset."  
"Aw, wanna tell me about it?"  
"In my dream, whenever I got your number right the call was answered by Steve Carlsberg." 

Carlos stifled a laugh, covered it with a cough.  
"Sorry Cecil, I think the dry desert air got to me there."  
"Yeah, you were laughing at me."  
"I'm sorry. Are you okay?"  
"Yeah I guess. I'm a little shaken by it but I'm fine. Talk to me for a while?"  
"I'll try. What about?"  
"I dunno, science? What have you been doing?"  
"Oh, I found some different fossils. Want to hear about them?"  
Cecil said yes and Carlos got his thoughts in order. After a minute without talking at all, he explained. 

"Okay. I explored the opposite side of the canyon and I found fossils there too. The ones on this side, the lighthouse side, are quite distinct, They have long, slender bones and some had short wings and they are just so interesting! But I think they were all one species, they are so similar, although I would need more evidence to be sure that they really were the same species and could reproduce successfully, you know, have offspring that could also reproduce successfully."  
"Carlos? Does that mean you and I are different species?"  
"What? Uh? No! Um... Cecil, are you teasing me again?" 

Cecil giggled and Carlos got on with his story.  
"The fossils on the opposite side of the canyon are kind of similar but have differences. The other fossils are smaller, they have shorter bones and none of them have wings. But they have the same basic structure and are so similar that I think they have a common ancestor. Once upon a time, long ago, millions of years ago, before the canyon formed, there were not two versions of this creature, there was just one that had some of the features of both. If I dig farther, go down deeper I might find..."  
"Mmhmhm, I'd like you to go down..."  
"Cecil! If you want that kind of phone call you're going to have to warn me before I call. I'm in Doug and Alisha's camp tonight. It might be rude to start... uh... you know." 

Cecil sighed. "Okay, I'll behave. We can _you know_ next time."  
"Mmm I'd like that too Cecil. Okay, so this creature I think existed millions of years ago before the canyon formed might have left some remains that I could find and study if I dig down into the strata of sediments and chart the appearance of the strata so that I know when I am at the correct depth on both sides to be at the same geological time. You remember how fossils form?"  
Cecil yawned out _uh-huh_ and Carlos smiled.  
"Canyons normally form slowly. Radon Canyon has sides that show evidence of erosion by flowing water. Radon Canyon was cut, worn down through the rock slowly by a river flowing over millions of years. My canyon here isn't like that, It looks like a crack just opened up one day. Maybe the rumbling we get even now is the aftershock of a massive earthquake. The earth still moves...  
"You know how to make the earth move..."  
"Ce-ee-cil? Remember you said you'd behave?"  
"Sorry, Ca-aa-rlos." 

"When the canyon opened up it split the population of these ancient creatures into two groups completely separated from each other. They never met again, didn't interbreed. The two sides of the canyon were different somehow, the habitats became different and the creatures developed different features as a result of these different conditions. Natural variation within each group meant that some individuals were better able to survive so they reproduced more successfully and passed on their genes for those helpful characteristics to more offspring. Sometimes an individual would have a random mutation in a gene that gave it an advantage. Most chance mutations are not beneficial, but every so often one is and it gets passed on too.  
"So by passing on genetic material from one generation to the next over millions of years, the two groups that were once the same slowly became more and more different in response to their different habitats..."  
"Hmm, I look forward to passing some genetic material..."  
Carlos giggled.  
"Come on, Cecil, concentrate."  
Carlos heard Cecil yawn again and shift around.  
"Just listen. I'll talk until you fall asleep." 

"Eventually the two populations get so different that they could no longer interbreed even if they had the chance. On this side of the canyon, the creatures developed wings and long legs. I think they hopped or skipped across the ground and used their tiny wings to help them get over obstacles or to give a little lift to help them hop and skip faster and higher. Perhaps there was a predator on this side and the faster individuals were able to escape and live to reproduce, or perhaps their food was growing higher up and they had to be able to hop higher to reach it and the individuals adapted to hop highest got more food and were healthier, stronger and more successful at mating.  
"On the other side, the creatures did not develop long legs and wings so I think their habitat had plenty of food near the ground and maybe instead of running from predators they might have been able to hide because they were smaller. The smaller ones were maybe better at hiding so they lived to pass on their genes for small size, and the smaller ones would have needed less food so would have been more able to survive a season of scarcity as the land dried out. 

"Tomorrow, Alicia said they will take me back over the other side of the canyon and I can look for more evidence of the creatures that once lived here because it wasn't always so arid. Last time I told you about how there must have been a sea here, now I think that after the sea dried up this strange land was not immediately desert. I want to find.... Cecil? I want to find out _everything_ about this place."  
Carlos listened to Cecil's even breathing and occasional snore and smiled.  
"Goodnight, Cecil, I will call you tomorrow when I am alone." 


	3. Seismic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos gets an email from Cecil asking him to call.  
> Cecil is fretting and can't sleep.  
> Carlos decides to explain plate tectonics. It doesn't have quite the effect on Cecil he expects, but a scientist can adapt to a changing situation, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating changed from G to T for the gratuitous innuendo.

Carlos read his emails and frowned. Cecil's was uncharacteristically short, just a _Call me when you can x_ without even any links to vines of cats doing cute things or photographs of oddly shaped vegetables. He used speed-dial.  
Cecil answered after two rings.  
"Hi Carlos! Thanks for calling. I know you're real busy but I... I just needed to hear your voice."  
"Hi Cecil! I'm not busy right now." Carlos brushed sand off his dust-coloured lab coat and looked down at the pit he was excavating. "I was taking a break. What time is it there? Are you okay?"  
"It's about four in the morning. I got in an argument with Steve over something I said to Janice and I can't stop overthinking it."  
"You want to tell me about it?"  
"No, but thanks. Like I said, I just need to hear your voice. It makes me feel better, less anxious. You on your own right now?"  
Carlos grinned. "Yes, scientifically speaking, there is not another sentient creature within my horizon, as far as my highly scientific and complex photon detectors can tell."  
"Neat!" 

They both giggled.  
"Is that what you want, Cecil?"  
Cecil sighed. "Maybe, I don't know. I've been awake for a couple of hours and I'm tired but I can't sleep."  
"Sexual activity might help you relax and make you sleepy, I noticed that you almost always fell asleep right after we..."  
"I do not! I stay awake long enough to cuddle!"  
Carlos laughed. "Every time! I thought it was cute. You always looked so calm after."  
"I miss you."  
"I miss you too." 

"So, do you want to?" Carlos's voice lilted up with the question. Cecil yawned and sighed.  
"Honestly, I think I'm too tired. Can you maybe talk to me for a while? About whatever you've been doing?"  
"Aaaah, science?"  
"Yeah, that."  
"Okay. I'm still discovering fossils in the sedimentary strata near the canyon. There are places where the strata show abrupt changes as if..."  
"Carlos?"  
"Sorry Cecil, I'll start again. Once upon a time..." 

Cecil put his phone on speaker and closed his eyes to concentrate better on the sound of Carlos's voice.  
"...the two parts of this enormous desert were joined. The canyon wasn't here. Maybe a few hundred thousand years ago I mean, but probably not many millions, the canyon edges are weathered only a bit, eroded by sand scouring them when the wind gets strong enough. I want to make an anemometer to measure the wind speed but I have not had time yet. I want to know why it gets windy sometimes, wind is caused by the sun and there is no sun in the sky here, just weird light around the horizon. But that isn't important right now."  
"Mmm. Will it be hard?"  
"Uh... what?"  
"To make an ane... anem... thing for measuring wind speed?"  
Carlos sniggered. "No, not too hard."  
"It's never too hard for you."  
"I thought you said you were tired?" 

"Mmm, yeah."  
"Okay. The Earth is not completely solid all the way to the centre. We live on the surface which is mostly solid rock and mostly cool. Under that is the mantle which is rock, but so hot that it can flow. It's not exactly liquid and not exactly solid, it has properties of both."  
"Like sand?"  
"Oh?"  
"It's solid, you can stand on it, but you can pour it."  
"Not exactly, ummm..."  
"Is it complicated?"  
"... the viscosity of the mantle depends on its temperature. The deeper you go, the hotter it is and the runnier the rock. Radioactive elements deep inside the Earth keep it hot."  
"Ooh, I'd like you deep ins..."  
"Are you _sure_ you're too tired, Cecil? I can tell you have me on speaker." 

"Please, keep talking science."  
"Okay. The crust is split into pieces called tectonic plates. These plates are floating on top of the runny rock mantle, and they move around because of convection currents, hot fluid rises because it is less dense and cooler fluid sinks. In some places the plates are moving together and they push up into each other to make mou... nevermind. In other places they are moving apart. Hot magma rises up and hardens to fill the gap. _Cecil! Really?"_ Carlos sniggered at Cecil's involuntary moan. "Like I said. _Hot_ magma _rises... mmm... and hardens..._ can you picture that, Cecil? Can you imagine that magma _rising up_ and getting _so... haaaard..._ , hard enough to _fill that crack..."_  
"I'm... yes I am imagining exactly that thing you just said. Mmmhmm... got any more _science_ for me?"  
Carlos sniggered again. "Oh I don't know... I'd hate to think I was _boring_ you."  
"Carlos, please think about boring me all you want. There's more to this story, right?"  
"Mmmm. Let. Me. Think."  
"Carlos!"  
"There are other parts of the crust where two plates rub up against each other. They rub _really hard_ but friction makes them sticky. The plates rubbing up against each other are so sticky, they are trying to move in opposite directions, trying to slide up or down... are you thinking about plates rubbing and sliding against each other, Cecil?"  
"Nnngh..."  
"But friction stops the plates from being able to move. They are held in place, they hold each other tight, pushing and rubbing and trying to slide against each other but they can't move. The pressure builds and builds, Cecil can you imagine? Stuck tight to each other, rubbing and letting the pressure build up? Are you thinking about that, Cecil?"  
"Mmmhmm."  
"Mmm good. Think about the pushing and the rubbing and the pressure building up and up and up, harder and higher, until..."  
"Uuh... Mmf!"  
"All that pressure is released suddenly..."  
"Ha-a-ah!"  
"...as the plates slip past each other and the Earth literally quakes."  
"Mmm, I think I felt some seismic activity." 

Carlos giggled. "You okay, Cecil?"  
Cecil laughed. "I feel a little better now. Less... pressured."  
"Think you'll sleep?"  
"You know me, out like a light afterwards."  
"I better..."  
"Don't go yet. Stay a while longer."  
Carlos smiled. "Okay. Do you need me to keep talking?"  
"No, except..."  
"I love you very much, Cecil."  
"I love you too, Carlos. And I had forgotten something. You reminded me."  
"Oh? What's that?"  
"I really like a story with a happy ending." 


	4. Radioactive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos tries to explain radioactivity to Cecil. Cecil gets a little sidetracked.

Carlos struggled to sleep. Between the constant light punctuated by as yet unpredictable periods of darkness which he used to study astronomy with Alisha, he snoozed under the shelter of his highly scientific umbrella. The scientist scanned the light seeping around the horizon, decided it was safe for now and called Cecil.  
The phone rang out. Carlos sighed and left a message.  
 _Ah I got your voicemail again. Hi Cecil! I miss you. I'll call later, unless time is messed up again. I don't know, perhaps I called you already from your point of view. Oh well. I love you and I found some really fascinating phenomena, soooo scientific. Mmm. Very scientifically stimulating. I'd like to tell you all about it, if you want to hear it. Anyway, that's for later. Umm, take care, Cecil._  
He put the phone away and stared at the horizon for a minute. He set his sand-clock running, closed his eyes and drifted into a light doze. 

He woke up as usual just before the sand clock emptied. Ninety minutes, near enough. Carlos checked his phone, looked at Tumblr. He'd been tagged in a photo post, an old picture of them together. He smiled and called. This time Cecil answered.  
"Carlos? Aah so good to hear from you!"  
"You okay Cecil?"  
"Yes, yes of course. I'm fine."  
"Cecil? I can tell when you're lying. You don't have to tell me what's wrong if you don't want to but if it is within my power to help, I will."  
Carlos heard Cecil sigh. "Just a bad day at work. Station Management... Urgh. I don't want to think about it. Talking with you helps."  
"Then we can talk. What time is it there? Did I wake you?"  
"I was awake, I'm in bed but I have not been asleep yet so I'll call it late. If you had woken me up I might've called it early."  
Carlos heard Cecil put his phone down then the telltale echo of the speaker setting. Muffled creaks made Carlos picture Cecil settling back in bed and hugging the covers up to his face. 

"I did some science, you want to hear about it?"  
"Of course! That might take my mind off today. Station Management insisted that I do an outside broadcast from Radon Canyon."  
"Cecil! Did you go? It's so dangerous out there! I hope you didn't have to stay too long. The radiation levels are really--"  
"Carlos, please. It's bad enough that I had to go without you making me feel worse about it. Yes I went, no I didn't stay any longer than I had to. I took that funny blue plastic badge you gave me. That helps, right?"  
"Sorry, Cecil. I didn't mean to sound like that. The badge only measures how much radiation you have been exposed to. It doesn't protect you at all. Can you give it to someone to develop? Leann Hart might have a darkroom if my team is too busy. I guess they are real busy, they never respond to my emails."  
"Oh! Your team. Yes, they seem to be, umm, unavailable. I will ask an intern to take it to Leann. Tell me about your scientific research. You know I'm very into science these days."  
Carlos looked over at the rock samples and fossils neatly arranged a few feet away. "Radiation is dangerous, but it is also scientifically interesting and really useful." 

"Remember what I told you about fossils and evolution and rocks and earthquakes?"  
"Mm-hmm, so-o-o scientific."  
"Yes, hah! That was a very scientific call."  
"Is this a _scientific_ call, Carlos?"  
"What? Uh, let's stick to the _actual_ science for now, Cecil."  
"Mm-hmm. Science me, Carlos."  
"Cecil, that's not even a th... never mind." 

Cecil sighed but smiled. "Sorry Carlos, my mind was a little distracted for a moment. Please tell me all about your science work. I want to understand."  
"I want you to understand too. It is so interesting here, Cecil! I hope you can visit soon. Anyway. I made a device that can measure radioactivity. I modified my old danger meter. Remember it?"  
Cecil laughed. "You never went anywhere without it! Remember our first date when you--"  
"Cecil, that was a perfectly valid scientific investigation."  
"It was a tree. In the park."  
"And it was good to know that it was only thirty-one percent dangerous." 

"Tell me what you have been working on."  
"Oh! I measured the amount of radioactivity coming from the remains of the Masked Army's last camp. You know, leftovers of recently dead things they ate. So I know how much radioactivity to expect from each gram of recently-living matter. Did you know every living thing is a little radioactive?"  
"Huh. Even me?"  
"Hah! Especially you for some reason, Cecil. Remember the first day I came to the studio and tested all the materials? I thought your booth was contaminated somehow. Took me a little while to work out that you were the source of all the radioactivity there."  
"Oh. Is that why you carry one of those blue badges everywhere?"  
"What? Uh, no. No, I just like to measure stuff."  
"Mmm. You sure do." 

"Okay, so there are different kinds of radioactivity. There's alpha. That's the worst one at Radon Canyon because if you breathe in the radon gas, it gets into your lungs and releases alpha radiation inside you. Radon's okay as long as it stays outside of you because the alpha radiation won't even get through your epidermis and that's made of dead cells anyway. Alpha radiation doesn't penetrate far but _Cecil, are you sniggering?_ if it's inside you _I can hear that!_ the alpha radiation can damage your DNA. It is highly ionising so it can strip electrons from... _Cecil, 'mm-hmm lucky electrons' is not a scientific concept."_  
Cecil giggled. "Sorry Carlos. I am concentrating, I promise."  
"Uh-huh. The alpha radiation can _remove_ electrons from atoms because alpha particles carry two units of positive charge, electrons are negative and they are attracted to each other."  
"So electrons are attracted to alpha particles, and the alphas tug on electrons until they come off?"  
"Exactly! Yes! But I'm not concerned... _Cecil, I can hear you sniggering again!_ with alpha because it is short range. Maybe six inches in air. Beta radiation is less ionising but more... _penetrating..._ because it is made of smaller particles with less charge. But it is gamma radiation I am interested in. It is pure electromagnetic energy, with no mass or charge to help it interact with matter, so gamma radiation is the most penetrating of all."  
"O-o-oh? How far does gamma radiation penetrate?"  
"Mmm. All. The. Way." 

Carlos smiled to himself as Cecil sniggered again.  
"Seriously, even thick lead won't stop it completely. Some always gets through. But the important thing for my research is that the amount of radioactivity coming from a sample of material decreases over time in a predictable way."  
"Carlos, you mean the radioactivity, uh, _goes down."_  
"Constantly! Over a long, _long_ time, the radioactivity goes down real slow. _Real_ slow."  
"So gamma radiation penetrates far and goes down slow."  
"You're getting it, Cecil!"  
"Mmm. I wish. It's hard."  
"You want me to talk more about how the radioactivity goes down?" 

"Okay, if I measure the amount of radioactivity in a sample of old material, say one of the wooden artefacts or an un-charred piece of bone from one of the fireplaces, and compare it with the same material that is alive now or was alive recently, I can figure out how long ago since it was a living thing. I can find out how long ago those ancient hearths were alight and used to cook stuff! The amount of radioactivity should halve every five-thousand-six-hundred years or so because that's the half-life of the radioisotope in the material."  
"Wow, Carlos, that's great."  
"Sorry, am I boring you?"  
"Unfortunately not."  
"Cecil! I thought you wanted to hear about science?"  
"Oh I do. I'm sorry Carlos, it has been a difficult day. I do like to hear what you are doing while you are tr... studying in that desert. But I miss you and I am so tired. Being a reporter and broadcaster is not what I imagined it would be at all right now."  
"You need a holiday. Cecil, I promise I will find a way for you to visit."  
"Then you can teach me all about penetration and going down?"  
"Uh yes. I cannot wait. But for now, if you close your eyes and I close mine too, maybe we can talk and pretend?" 

Carlos smiled when he heard Cecil breathing deep. He lay down, phone on the sand-pillow he scooped up for comfort, head on top and eyes closed, listening. Carlos curled up under his umbrella, arms around himself.  
 _Tomorrow. I will look for a way to get you here tomorrow. I promise._  
For the first time in a year, Carlos fell asleep listening to Cecil snore. 


	5. Virus.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What if Ceci got sick with the flu while Calos was gone and he can't sleep because of how awfulhe feels and how bad his head hurts but Carlos calls him and Cecil finally falls asleep listening to Carlos's voice"
> 
> Prompt from butterflyaura - thank you!

Cecil trudged home from work, glad that the sun had already set, head still reeling from the noise it made as the blood-orange sky reluctantly pushed it below the horizon. He had an early finish. Normally it was proper dark when he got home, the sky above indigo peppered with glitter. Carlos would have pointed out and named some of the sparkles for him and he would have smiled and nodded. On a good night they would stay outside, Cecil making up constellations and telling stories, Carlos never quite sure where the boundary lay between Cecil's tall tales and what Cecil genuinely believed to be true. 

Tonight was different. For one thing, he missed Carlos so much he felt he could almost reach out and touch his absence. Cecil wondered if Carlos could explain it, how could a negative, a gap, become a real thing. He tried once before not long after Carlos became trapped _No!_ decided to stay in the desert for a while, and the scientist explained about electrons and holes and semiconductors and Cecil said _mmm_ and _yes I see_ and drifted off to sleep focusing on the sound of Carlos's voice but allowing meaning to remain hidden. When Carlos talked to him like that Cecil knew exactly what he was trying to say, and Cecil would sometimes wake enough to murmur _love you too._

For another thing, he had been sent home ill and, for the first time ever, unable to complete his show. Cecil muddled through as best he could with pre-recorded segments but during the weather Intern Maureen arrived with a sternly worded letter from Station Management informing him that a radio presenter with no voice was about as much use as the invisible lights at the intersection of Fourth and Main, and instructing him to hand over the rest of the show to Maureen. He croaked at Khoshekh on his way out. _I'm never ill! Urgh, everything hurts. This is horrible._

Once indoors, Cecil made tea with lemon and honey the way Carlos did when he was feeling ill. He sipped at it slowly and made a face at the taste. Cecil took a selfie, looking sorry for himself, and uploaded it to his tumblr for Carlos to see when he took time off from science.  
 _#sick #can't talk #dying #call me_  
Cecil made more tea to take to bed with him. He didn't like the taste but it did help sooth his throat. 

Cecil took a shower, as hot as he could stand, put on clean pyjamas and got into bed. He tried to read but couldn't focus on the words. After scanning the same paragraph four times without any understanding of what it meant, he closed his book and put the light out.   
Shuffling down the bed and lying flat made Cecil's head spin and throb. He sat up again and his joints ached. He felt damp despite being cold and mopped his forehead with a corner of the sheet. Cecil felt his pyjama top. It was clammy with sweat. He swung his legs out and sat up, pushed himself to his feet and fell over backwards onto the bed as dizziness took his balance. He crawled to the dresser to fetch another fresh pair of pyjamas. He took a pair of Carlos's, his favourites with the glow-in-the-void octopus pattern.  
Cecil crawled back into bed, shivered, reclined rather than lay and pulled the covers up tight to his chin. After a few minutes he threw the covers off to cool down. Eventually, he settled on having one leg under and one leg on top of the covers, half sitting against the pillows with his pounding head as still as possible. 

Cecil dozed, frequently waking up too hot or too cold or aching. When Carlos called he seriously considered not answering, but only for a second or two. He put his phone on its stand and hit speaker.  
"Hi Carlos."  
"Cecil, you sound terrible. I saw your selfie. Are you looking after yourself properly?"  
"I'm in bed. I made your lemon tea. It tastes nasty."  
"Ha, I know but it works. Don't talk too much, I can hear in your voice that your throat must feel raw."  
"Mmm."  
"Sounds like you have a real bad cold virus."  
"A cold? Carlos I feel like I'm _dying!"_

Carlos laughed. "Oh you poor thing. It feels so bad, doesn't it? It'll be all over in a few days. I mean, you'll feel better in a few days."  
"Mmm."  
"You probably got infected a three, four days ago. Maybe as much as a week. Who did you see who was ill?"  
Cecil mumbled a name. Carlos was surprised at how much venom Cecil could inject into three syllables with his voice ruined.  
"Oh! I forgot you went to visit Janice. Was her dad really sick?"  
"Mmmf. Grrr."  
"Oh. So you got some cold virus into you, it is likely that you touched a contaminated surface then put your hand near your mouth or nose and that's how the virus got in. Real good hand-washing hygiene is _so_ important! You want to know what to expect?"  
"Nnngh." 

Cecil's head hurt but listening to Carlos made him feel better. It didn't ease the pain, but reassured him that he was not, in fact, about to take his place in the station break room next to the ex-interns.  
"So I am not dying?"  
"No more rapidly than you were before. We are all gradually... oh you probably don't want to hear that right now. No, Cecil, you are not dying of a cold."  
"Mmm. I always assumed I would be killed in the line of duty like most radio journalists."  
"Scientifically speaking, tiny parts of you are being killed by the virus and recycled. That is what causes your symptoms."  
"Mmm?"  
"The virus gets into your cells. Probably the ones at the back of your nose and throat first of all. It passes through the cell membrane because viruses are so tiny and reaches the nucleus. Once there the virus injects its own DNA into your cell nucleus and uses your DNA to make copies of itself. Like Lego, it breaks up your DNA and puts it back together in a different order. It kind of reprograms your own cell to make more copies of the virus. Once the cell is used up, it bursts open and all the new copies of the virus are released to infect the cells nearby."  
"Gross!"  
"I suppose it is, but it is really clever! Viruses are not alive by our scientific definitions _I heard that snort, Cecil! Science is not perfect, we do the best we can and modify our ideas in the light of new information and... Oh you're laughing at me. Hah. Got me again!"_ Cecil wheezed out another giggle.  
"You probably had a few days where you were infected but didn't feel anything because there was not enough virus in your body to do much damage. But as more and more cells got destroyed you'd start to experience symptoms. That sore throat? The delicate membranes at the back of your larynx and pharynx are literally raw, the skin is damaged. Lost your voice?"  
"Mm-hmm"  
"You might have to replace your vocal cords. I hope not, I love your voice, but we'll know in a few days. Don't try to do your own like I did. I am a scientist so I was fine but you are not. I suppose I could talk you through it if I could project myself to you."  
"Would you? Now?"  
"Talk you through a vocal cord replacement? I don't think--"  
"Project here!" 

"Can you see me?"  
"No."  
"Oh. I can see you. How about now?"  
"No."  
"Are your eyes open?"  
"Oh, I see you! Hi Carlos!"  
"Hi Cecil! You really look ill. No, don't move." 

Cecil smiled at the image of Carlos standing by the end of the bed. Carlos walked closer, reached out a hand and passed it over Cecil's cheek. Cecil felt nothing. Carlos sat cross legged by the bed.  
"So you have a ton of virus in you and your body is fighting back. You have special white blood cells that get rid of pathogens like viruses. Right now you will have plenty of them, all attacking the virus in different ways. The ones most active are probably the lymphocytes since you have a virus. There are different kinds. Some of them make antibodies that bind to the pathogen and help other cells called macrophages locate and destroy them, like a kind of tagging system. I am not a biologist or a medical expert but you will probably start feeling better in a couple of days. Three days getting worse, three days feeling awful and three days getting better, my mama used to tell me so long ago." Carlos smiled at Cecil's sleeping form. He stood up and brushed nonexistent lips against Cecil's. "Goodnight. I love you."  
"Mmmyoutoo."  
Carlos waited a few minutes, watching Cecil's breathing before fading slowly back into his desert.


End file.
